Thoughts on Action
"Contemplation often makes life miserable. We should act more, think less, and stop watching ourselves live." ~ Nicolas de Chamfort

Quiz Time!

Are You Ready to Have a Baby?

1.       Your friend asks you to babysit on a Friday night. Your first thought is:

a.     Hell no
b.     Maybe I can bank an airport ride out of this?
c.      It’ll be interesting to find out if I can wipe someone else’s ass without throwing up
d.      Maybe they won’t come back, and maybe I can keep it, just for a little while, the baby would be better off with me anyways – parents always gallivanting about, shameful – maybe we’ll just go away for a while, just the two of us, I hear Mexico’s nice this time of year…

2.       Take a look at your savings account statement. Does it:

a.      Exist?
b.      Contain more than 4 digits BEFORE the decimal point?

3.       What does your typical Saturday night consist of?

a.      Watching The Wonder Years reruns on Netflix
b.      Dinner with a group of less than 10 at a place that does not offer Margaritas As Big As Your Head
c.      A flip cup tournament at your buddy’s place who is still asking for keg “donations”

4.       What is a 529?

a.      The first three numbers to your parents’ (with whom you still live) garage keypad code
b.      The average number of diapers changed in the first 3 months
c.       A college savings plan for Junior

5.       Take a look around your house. Is it:

a.      Actually a house?
b.      A one-bedroom apartment, its sole adornment the Jim Belushi COLLEGE poster?

6.       Red SOLO cups can hold non-alcoholic beverages, such as lemonade at picnics.

a.      True
b.      False

7.       Think about being pregnant. The first thing that comes to your mind is:

a.      No coffee or booze for nine months? How will I make it through the work day (without booze) and social events (without coffee)?
b.      How am I going to pass a watermelon through this?
c.      I will not feel like Sigourney Weaver in Alien, I will not feel like Sigourney Weaver in Alien, I will not feel like Sigourney Weaver in Alien
d.      I am PUMPED to post bump progress pictures on Facebook with alarming regularity

8.       Which commercial makes you have to pretend you have something in your eye?

a.      Sarah McLachlan and her band of misfit pets for the ASPCA
b.      Sally Struthers for the Christian Children’s Fund (anyone wish they’d bring these back, so we could see that hair again?)

Answer Points Key:

1 (a=1; b=2; c=3; d=4)

2 (a=1; b=2)

3 (a=3; b=2; c=1)

4 (a=1; b=2; c=3)

5 (a=2; b=1)

6 (a=2; b=1)

7 (a=1; b=3; c=2; d=4)

8 (a=1; b=2)

0-8 Points: You should be on some sort of registered list to keep you outside a 5 mile radius of schools and parks.

9-16 Points: Maybe a pet might be more appropriate – I hear they’re doing wonderful things these days with bark-less Chihuahuas

17-19 Points: You’re almost there, kid. Swing by a Baby Gap and feel out the scene.

20-22 Points: I hope your friends and family members have been vaccinated for Baby Rabies. You’re rabid!

16 Responses to Quiz Time!

  • Carmencita says:

    Hmmm….apparently I’m only supposed to have pets. I think I’m ok with that. :)

  • Carlye says:

    I am almost there! A strong 17, babyGap here I come. I suppose I should get married first and enjoy that for awhile. :)

    • Maybe Lady
      Maybe Lady says:

      It’s so funny you say that – I keep saying I’m going to Carlye’s BABY shower this weekend, not bridal shower! I guess I have baby-on-the-brain with all this blogging. Can’t wait to see you and the others soon!

  • Katie says:

    *Laughter* (Because saying lol makes me feel lame). I thought I was the only one who had something in my eye in those sad animal commercial. But I’m always at the gym when I see them, and while it’s appropriate to snicker at something funny while jogging, I really don’t think it’s fair to subject strangers to my sobs of “I don’t want them to be in the arms of an angel, I want them to live. I’ll take them all home!” Great blog.

  • DeAnn says:

    Well, I scored 18, but thats only because I am 58with an investment portfolio and childed siblings/friends. Some questions, like number 8, neither answer applied to me. I’ll be celebrating my 35th tubal ligation anniversary this summer. I love my childfree life.

    • Maybe Lady
      Maybe Lady says:

      Well congrats on your upcoming anniversary! I’d say be sure to pop some bubbly, but you probably get to do that every weekend, livin’ it up Childfree-style!

    • Jenny says:

      My hero! I scored higher as well, and although I am only 30, I work in finance so I scored higher on those questions.

      We are coming up on the 1 year anniversary of my husband’s vasectomy and we are discussing Vegas as the appropriate place to celebrate! :)

      • Maybe Lady
        Maybe Lady says:

        There truly is no other place to celebrate such an event – excellent choice! Put $10 on black for me while you’re there.

  • Shannon says:

    This makes no sense! For example, first question – hell no to babysitting gives more points than someone hoping the parents don’t return. Yet, more points mean you are more ready for having a baby??
    I think this quiz is backwards. It says I should check out baby gap but I think I should just stick with pets.

    • Maybe Lady
      Maybe Lady says:

      Ack! You’re right Shannon, I had the points backwards on that first question (fixed now). This is what happens when my only proofreaders are my cats. Oops! Thanks for catching that!!

  • Chundra says:

    Oh my God! I have a place to vent about wanting to be child free. My husband wants one child but I will show him the child calculator to convince him to just be more involved in his GOD daughters life. Also to get him to focus on planning our VIP CRUISE FOR 2013.

    • Maybe Lady
      Maybe Lady says:

      Yes, that calculator is TERRIFYING! Enjoy your cruise – just make sure you don’t accidentally get on the Disney cruise ship – yikes!

  • Danielle says:

    Too funny! 1c had me just about falling off my chair – good thing I’m not pregnant.

  • Jasmine says:

    LOL, good thing I have a pet and he’s already taken away some of our freedom!!! But I can not get enough of him.

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