Guest Rant of the Week: Why I’m Afraid to be a Mom
Why do people always try and talk my husband and I into having kids? I cannot believe how many times we’ve been cornered by some half drunk 40 year old who only want to convince us that having children in the best thing that can ever happen to a person. I wonder are they trying to convince us, or themselves? And I always want to say “Oh, by the way, I’ve met your kids and I think they’re awful and lazy and why do you keep feeding them McDonalds for lunch?” Does that make me a bad person? Maybe, but it makes you a bad person when you say “I didn’t know what love was until I had children.” And “I had no purpose until I gave birth”. What? I don’t really love my husband? My job and volunteer work must be meaningless because I don’t have an infant? Who are you to tell me this crap? If that is what’s important to you, then fine. But don’t assume everyone is going to find that much joy in baby poop and breast pumps.
Also, why are moms so mean to other moms? Every time I go to some women’s interest blog page, it’s filled with mothers bashing other mothers on the way they raise their children. Aren’t they all supposed to be in this parenting thing together? But no, there’s actually a term – “Mommy wars” to describe how awful moms are to other moms! It’s completely absurd!
And apperantly women hate their bodies after birth (another reason not to have kids), but I just read this really crazy controversy about some mom, who actually worked her ass off and was proud of her body after she gave birth, and all the other moms are like “She’s fat shaming! Why isn’t she spending more time with her sons! She’s a bully! I’m a better mom than her because I choose to eat pancakes with my kids for dinner instead of working out”. Holy hell!!!! So I gather it’s like this: First you have to post 900 pictures of yourself pregnant. After you give birth you have to hate your body. Then you have to proclaim that you’re going to accept your body for the changes is made because you gave birth. And then you have to take pictures of you’re saggy boobs and stretch marked stomach and post them to body proud sites that embrace things like that. But never, under any circumstances can you give birth, get fit right afterwards and show off how amazing you look and feel because it would make others feel bad about themselves.
It just seems to me like have a kid is more like a cult these days and I really just don’t buy into it. There are all these crazy rules you have to follow (depending on what fads or trends you’re following). You loose your identity and get reassigned one (“I’m _________’s Mom/Dad). You have to subscribe to crazy dietary restrictions (which I’m pretty sure involve little gold-‐fish crackers and hotdogs and I don’t even think you can drink). And the only reward it assures is that after this life is over (parenthood) your next life (being an empty-‐nester) will be much more worth it. No thank you. I’m not gonna buy into it and I’ll thank you all very much to quit trying to get my husband and I to drink the kool-‐aid. We’d rather drink red wine anyways.