Guest Rant of the Week: Nope, Not Broody
by Lunacy of Ink at http://lunacyofink.com
While out with some friends recently, my husband sent me a picture of the new chicken coop, for we own two chickens and we love them very much. When they’re not roaming free around our garden, they deserve someone special to sleep with and make us eggs.
I was so happy with Gaz’s picture I made it my wallpaper and showed it to all my friends. I was aware that I was like one of those parent-types who at the mere mention of their child, whips out a smartphone and starts showing you dull and boring pictures of their baby doing dull and boring things. But this was different. My baby is a chicken, which is cooler, cheaper, and provides food.
later that day, I met for the first time my best friend’s new baby, Baby Wipes. Baby Wipes was fast asleep when I arrived, but that didn’t stop us bonding. She was so cute. I couldn’t help crying a bit when they put her on my chest and we had a sleepy cuddle. Call it a hangover, call it what you will, but I was an emotional mess.
Obvs I am madly in love with Baby Wipes. I put her picture on Facebook so I could show off that I met her when she was three days old and she loved me enough to sleep peacefully on my chest.
And then came the comments. The presumptions that I was broody.
Now look here. Just because I love my chicken and my best mate’s baby, and just because I am married and recently moved to the countryside, doesn’t mean a thing. The best thing about Baby Wipes is that I can love her and spoil her and have loads of fun with her, but then I can hand her back to her parents and they can do all the boring stuff and they can take responsibility for her future. This is the answer to remaining child-free – just enjoy your friend’s babies a bit, then go back to your life.
Having spent the day getting all emotional about chickens and babies, the most sensible thing to do with my evening seemed to be going to watch BlackFish, a documentary about SeaWorld and captive orcas. Yeah, that was a really good idea.
So I finished my emotional day crying at Tilikum the Orca’s rubbish life. But that doesn’t make me broody. I don’t want a baby. I just want to love my best mate’s one. It might seem like a contradiction that I can have all this love for Baby Wipes and not want a baby of my own. But I have all this love for Orcas too, it doesn’t mean I want to bring one up.
It’s hard work being an early pioneer of the child-free lifestyle choice. But then again I do have a lot of child-free time in which to rant and moan, which I am sure is just as rewarding as raising children. Right?