You Look Good Holding That Baby…And Other Creepy Things People Say
Last weekend, I did something shocking. Well, there were a few shocking moments:
- I had dinner with a baby (amongst others).
- Said dinner with baby took place at a somewhat fancy steakhouse. I believe the hostesses were rather shocked as well when we rolled that Fisher-Price monstrosity of plastic into their mahogany and linen world.
- Dinner took place at the ungodly early hour of 6:30, so said baby could get home to sleep.
And finally, most surprising of all…
- After martini #2, I broke my “No Holding Babies While Drinking” rule.
It’s not usually one I need to enforce. I never really have the urge, or I’ve already registered on the parents’ drunk-dar and am kept at bay. But as I get deeper into this Maybe Baby, Maybe Not experiment, I’m realizing that my mind isn’t going to make itself up. The issue must be forced. So I made a grab for that baby – just to see how it felt – and her mom, Elizabeth snapped a photo of us.
Our friend Karen responded with Motherhood suits you, Maybe Lady;)
Yeah? I also look pretty svelt in a magician’s cape. Doesn’t mean I’m going to go flouncing around town in one. (Or does it?!) I look pretty regal on a horse as well, but owning one seems like a cost-prohibitive sort of venture. What I’m trying to say is – we can’t just go round snapping up all the things that suit us or make us look good.
Yes, I know how to hold an infant without its head lolling all over the place. I know how to waggle a rattle in their face to shut them up. I know that trick about soaking their teething rag in whiskey (wait, are people still doing that?). But most importantly, I know I can hand them back to Mom once my moment with Baby is over. If I didn’t, and was working on about 4 hours of sleep and my very last nerve, believe me, you’d be getting a less than polished performance from me on the pseudo mommy front.
Even so, I know these people are right – I probably would make a good mom. And I know for sure that Drew would make an awesome dad. But everyone’s forgetting that being competent at something – or even having an aptitude for it – isn’t the same thing as wanting to do it. I used to be pretty sharp little sketch artist as a kid, but the idea of sitting in front of a canvas by myself all day for a living sounded…well, almost as boring as watching hour upon hour of Baby Einstein – Neighborhood Animals (which, incidentally, HAD to have been developed by someone under the influence of a heavy, heavy narcotic).
It seems to enflame people when someone who would be a good parent chooses not to. I get it. They want us to rear some do-gooders to counteract the rash of bad parenting going on out there – otherwise, the world is going to be in a pretty crappy state of affairs soon. But that doesn’t always work (check out the NY Times article Columbine: Parents of a Killer). So maybe I’ll just focus on managing the chaos that I actually have some control over. For now.
Come to think of it, people are also fond of telling me that I’d make a great mother after seeing me with my cats. Does that make them the creep, or me?